Hello, denizens of the electronic media! I return again to give you more useless thoughts that appeal to the masses that just ooze boredom from time to time. This title was brought to you by metaphysical magical girl anime that alludes to sex.

Speaking of metaphysical magical girl anime that alludes to sex, I had another rundown of anime to go through. This time, it was Choukishin Dancougar, Space Runaway Ideon, The Guyver, Texhnolyze, Bokurano, Kannazuki no Miko, and Revolutionary Girl Utena. Dancougar is about a group of random hokey aliens that begin to attack the Earth. One of the Air Force's epic members, Shapiro Keats, decides to randomly give advice to the aliens in exchange for being God. They pretty much agree with him. It's up to Bold And Brash Shinobu, Scorned Lady Sara, Woman-Handling Masato, and Motherfucking Kickass Ryo to save the day as the Cyber Beast Force, a group of tanks/planes/Zoids/Transformers/epic bitch that would put Voltron in its place. Everything in this anime emanates epic ownage, from the Big Fucking Gun to the Big Fucking Cannon Formation to the Big Fucking Satellite Sword. Good to watch!

Space Runaway Ideon is about a group of human colonists that come across a planet ruled by the Buff Clan, a bunch of humanoid aliens (who also speak Japanese?) and while under attack, discover the Ideon, a god-like robot made from toy trucks. The main focus of this show, however, comes from the fact that EVERYONE DIES. Seriously, this defined the Kill em' All trope. Thank you, Tomino. In the final movie, Be Invoked, everyone is killed in heartbreaking ways. The pregnant woman is shot in the face (baby strangely survives), other people are shot, a small girl is decapitated by gunfire, and when the Ideon explodes out of fury, everyone dies, and not even the cute little squirrel in the cute little squirrel spacesuit is saved from oncoming death. Everyone comes back as spirits, though, and we all fly into space singing Happy Birthday. Tomino, you awesome bastard.

The Guyver is about the Bio-Boosted Armor, an ancient armor that happens to take over a high school student, Sho Fukamachi, and the epic takedown of the Zoanoid bitches takes place. The dubbing is downright hideous, but funny, and cliches happen rather much, including the fact that people get over death pretty well every episode. (I killed my father! Sho, you whine like a bitch, what about me? Ok.) Plus, there's a part of an episode that contains Zoanoid bromance. Check it out on the end episode of the first season.

Texhnolyze was a boring one. It was about three groups, one of unTexhnolyzed folk, one of Texhnolyzed misfits, and the gang that oversaw Texhnolyzing. The main character is this dude who gets amputated in some places for not masochisting to the sadistic bitch of his employer's girlfriend. Yeah, I couldn't really get through all the episodes.

Bokurano was another great addition to the Kill Em' All trope. A bunch of kids find this magical cave with this nice-looking man inside that gives them a metal plate to register themselves to pilot cool giant robots. The catch? You die. The children die, one by one, as they are forced to crush their city in order to fight the various behemoths that attack. (plus their guide, Dung Beetle, is a real douche. I have no sympathy for the bitch. He's cute, though, in a non-gay way.) Another catch is that those behemoths are actually other robots from alternate universes, and those universes are utterly eliminated when they lose. Bummer.

Kannazuki no Miko was one of my favorite ones, because it combined two of my favorite (ok, it might be stretching it a bit) things to present in anime: lesbians and GIANT ROBOTS! The giant robots really don't have much to do with the plot though. The plot focuses on two starcrossed priestesses, Himeko and Chikane, and their yuri relationship. Himeko's other love interest, Soma, happens to be part of the evil Orochi gods, and he defects to the side of good by kicking all of their asses. Villains include: A failing mangaka, a failing pop star (Ms. 69!), a cat nurse, a nun whore, a guy who likes small boobs, and so on. Tragedy occurs, but the lesbo priestesses promise that they'll be together in the next life.

Lastly (and one of the most awesome)of the bunch is Revolutionary Girl Utena, an anime about a girl who wants to become a prince, and goes to Ohtori Academy to find a prince who gave her a rose ring. This rose ring, however, gets her into a lot of duels based on rose fucking, I mean slashing. Everything relates to sex. You can base anything off of sex, from the duels, to the elevator rides (Deeper...Deeper...) to the car rides with Akio, to just getting stabbed with a million swords. There are so many epic allusions to sex that it's a real treat. Even more of a treat is the movie, Adolescence of Utena, which is slightly more lesbian and metaphysical. Break the world's shell and revolutionize the world, at the cost of your mental virginity.

And then I came back to movies. Antichrist is about a couple named He and She who are fucking like rabbits when their infant decides to play outside the window. Yeah, he's fucked. So the grieving couple goes to a cabin in the woods, and after viewing some unnecessary animal violence and misogynistic texts, She goes apeshit, and decides to brutalize He's testicles. A Misery-like confrontation occurs, and He emerges as the victor. Then it goes metaphysical from there.

Next was The Idiots, about a group of people who decide to act like retards for free stuff and life fulfillment. At first, the movie appears rather funny, with the men and women acting like retards (spassing) and having a good time laughing about it behind the scenes. Karen, a normal, never-say-no girl, decides to join the group. The group then devolves into madness as they discover that they are just as repulsed by the real retards as people are repulsed by them, and one of them is taken away. The group fades as Karen leaves, and the audience is left with a bad taste in the mouth. Oh, and did I mention the hardcore sex?

After that was Godzilla Vs. Mothra, a monster film about Godzilla, the bastard that comes to attack Japan every so often, and only the she-bitch Mothra, from Mothra island, can stop Godzilla. There is unnecessary human influence, from the sprightly reporters to the tribe of natives to the mini-priestesses that look more like poodles. This movie is cheap, but the fights are pretty damn cool, and you can't beat the epic theme song.

Two Thousand Maniacs was a regular old exploitation film about a bunch of hicks that initially welcome a bunch of Yankees, but proceed to kill them off one by one. This movie, made back in the heyday of exploitation, reveals to us audiences that hicks are evil people bent on murdering you hideously while waving Confederate flags and singing "The South Will Rise Again". What a great generalization, folks. But in exploitation, who gives a shit about political correctness? Just look at Death Race 2000. Now that was a sex/violence crazed hoot.

Now, currently, I am watching Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. This film is about a baby thrown out with the fish guts that saves himself by his gnarly sense of smell. This kid, who from the alienation and constant sniffing we are assuming is a homosexual French boy, surprises us by trying to make perfume out of pretty girls by distilling them and using other methods. This film is an underlooked treat for a filthy portrayal of France and the means that ambiguous Parisian boys will go to to get that great scent. Just think about what animals went into the sprays at Macy's. Yeah.

For games, I am currently playing Super Robot Wars J and Feel the Magic: XY XX. Super Robot Wars J is another robot bashdown, featuring Dancougar, Zeorymer, Brain Powerd, and some other robots that you probably never heard of. (that's right fangirls....no Gundam Wing...heh.) Feel the Magic: XY XX is about a dude who does these random stunts to win the heart of the chick he digs. From fending off bulls to blowing yachts to pulling scorpions off her back to killing man-eating plants to cart-riding to dance-offs to giant snakes, it's insanely random and addicting.

To appease my horny appetite, I mean, fill my need for romance, I met a really great guy, Aaron. Aaron's the kind of guy that isn't a movie/game/music buff, but is an open and loving bastard no matter what. Plus he's fucking ripped and hot. This is a bara dream come true. Come time, he and I can finally meet, and I can finally establish a long-distance boyfriend. I wait to corrupt my teddy bear! Plus, I'm bribing someone to draw some hot bara. Go Taty!

And there you have it. I thought it was about time to revolutionize this journal, so enjoy the update! Comments concerning awesomeness are well-appreciated.

(GO DEEPER....DEEPER....)